May the swagger be with you.
May the swagger be with you.
What Netflix Thinks I Want to Watch:
Critically-Acclaimed Quirky Independent Movies
Witty Romantic Comedies
Feel-Good Social & Cultural Documentaries
Heartfelt Dramas Featuring a Strong Female Lead
Emotional Suspenseful TV Shows
What I Really Want to Watch:
Movies About Dancing, Preferably in Urban Areas
Anything That Will Make Me Cry, Especially When I’m Feeling Sulky
Things Featuring Adrien Brody and His Perfect Thin Eyebrows and Perfect Long Nose
Romantic Movies Set in New York City in The Autumn
Toddlers & Tiaras
Your 20’s are your ‘selfish’ years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time, and all the aspects of you. Tinker, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground.
I just looked up “lots of cats” (don’t ask) and your blog is on the first row of google search results.
1. Walk by Juut salon in Uptown. Notice a sign in the window looking for people with long hair to be up-do models. Scoff at it until you notice that compensation is 500 DOLLARS, which is basically the equivalent of your yearly salary.
2. Think to yourself “I have long hair!!”
3. Contemplate how many cheap Forever 21 sundresses you could buy with $500.
4. Swinging your long, shiny, recently-washed hair, prance semi-confidently into the salon and ask where the hair model auditions are being held.
5. Beam at the lovely front desk man who tells you you’re a “perfect candidate”! Give him your bag and coat and prance even more confidently up the stairs to the audition room.
6. Step through the doors into a dark room with strobe lights and techno music blasting.
7. Stare horrifiedly at the woman who asks you if you’re there for the runway show audition.
8. Look around the room and notice that you’re the only woman there under six feet. And the only one not wearing stilettos.
9. Think to yourself “fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck”.
10. Realize that you already gave your bag and coat to the guy at the front desk, and then realize that there’s really no way out of the room.
11. Have one of the first big fight or flight moments in your life thus far.
12. Think about your favorite inspirational video of a little girl trying to do a cartwheel. Repeat NOT AFRAID. NOT AFRAID. to yourself.
13. DECIDE TO FIGHT!
14. Cautiously tiptoe up to the runway in your old, scuffed-up, orange moccasins and peasant top and take a deep breath.
15. Walk up and down the runway twice, giving it 35% of your fierce all the first time, and about 70% the second time.
16. Be very, very aware of the fashionistas filming your runway movez to analyze more in-depth later.
17. Finish. Almost run for the door in relief.
18. Get rewarded for your embarrassing efforts with a gift certificate for a 60 minute massage!
19. Try very, very hard to repress the fact that footage of your painfully awkward runway audition exists somewhere in Minneapolis.
*It doesn’t matter what heinous crime he may have committed, if he went to your elementary school and/or was your neighbor he’s absolved of it.
The only boy advice my mom has ever given me is “Wait for your Gilbert Blythe, Meggie”.
But I’ve always been a Rhett Butler kind-of-girl instead.
Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
For the sheer audacity of Butler, and for how much we wish he’d sweep us off our feet as well.
“Scarlett O’Hara, you’re a fool!”
Before she could withdraw her mind from its far places, his arms were around her, as sure and hard as on the dark road to Tara, so long ago. She felt again the rush of helplessness, the sinking yielding, the surging tide of warmth that left her limp. And the quiet face of Ashley Wilkes was blurred and drowned to nothingness. He bent back her head across his arm and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. His insistent mouth was parting her shaking lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. And before a swimming giddiness spun her round and round, she knew that she was kissing him back.
“Stop–please, I’m faint!” she whispered, trying to turn her head weakly from him. He pressed her head back hard against his shoulder and she had a dizzy glimpse of his face. His eyes were wide and blazing queerly and the tremor in his arms frightened her.
“I want to make you faint. I will make you faint. You’ve had this coming to you for years. None of the fools you’ve known have kissed you like this–have they? Your precious Charles or Frank or your stupid Ashley–”
“I said your stupid Ashley. Gentlemen all–what do they know about women? What did they know about you? I know you.”
Megan M.: Honey.
Heather: Schindler’s List…no, Cinderella. But only the first half.
Allie: Garden State and Pocahontas…because I can relate to her, being Norwegian.
Megan W.: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and not just because I love Kate Winslet.
Alex: The Royal Tenenbaums…less about owning Margot’s jacket + being extremely gifted and more about dysfunction and consistently associating with weirdos.
Christa: Precious…can I also be Julia Stiles in Save the Last Dance?
“Doesn’t match.. but it does. Jealous?”
“Yeah, I like Animal Collective.”
“You mean your parents live outside of Nantucket?”
“Does this jean jacket make me look middle class?”
“Daddy says my first job is important. Which one to choose… which one to choose…”
“I can’t wait to see a MILF try to pull off these snake skin pants.”
“I simply couldn’t have another sip of that Nantucket nectar!”
“All this AND a sun room for just two million?!”
“I pity the poor fool in earth tones.”
“You must be exhausted from chasing bad taste.”
“Peek-a-boo! I’m rich and pretty!”
“I think they call it a ‘clutch’ because all of the photographers are black.”
“Ew, I stepped on a quarter.”
“Khaki is overdone… for you.”