Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

19

Apr

Hashtags We Need To Stop

Allow me to be meta for a minute. I know using social media to point out how people are using social media wrong is totally fetch, but I think we could all use a little refresher. Hashtags are used to categorize your status in a searchable group. This makes sense when you are attending an event or commenting on a topic that other people would be interested in searching for. This doesn’t make sense when you are uploading pictures of your uterus or the cheetos you ate for lunch and pairing it with any of the following:

  • #Selfy / #GPOY - We all need an updated avatar but tagging it ensures that you’ll be lumped into a searchable stash of attention-starved girls for any creep to scroll through. Ew.
  • #Emo - Save it for your diary. And no, twitter is not your diary. 
  • #WhiteGirlProblems - Too many people link this to things that have nothing to do with race and more to do with the fact that they think their whiny, lazy privilege is humorous.
  • #Overshare / #TMI - Yeah, you’re probably right, so just don’t.
  • #Foodie - A picture of food does not make you a foodie. Just like a picture of your face does not make you a #model
  •  #Shit______Say - I don’t care what the blank is: dogs, DILFS, one-legged prostitutes, or dead celebrities, this one is so overdone that they actually make me want to unfollow you. Ok, I lied, maybe I want to hear more about what DILFS say… go on.
  • #cats #cat #katz #kittens #lolcat #catsofinstagram #cutecats #iphonephotographycats - Dammit, now you look desperate as shit and you’ll probably only get like 3 followers with the amount of people you loose with that one. Hashtag overloads don’t look good on anyone.
  • #myboyfriendisthesweetestthingeverrr #lolthisissofunny #whatididtoday #hangingoutatthegynecologist - Stop with the hashtag sentences already. It doesn’t even make sense. No one is going to search for it, you aren’t part of a cool club like #emo or #gpoy so what’s the point?
  • No, absolutely NO hashtags allowed on Facebook.

/rant

06

Mar

Movie Titles + My Life

Aspirational Movie Titles (hopefully representative of my future)

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

Under the Tuscan Sun

True Romance

The Breakfast Club

American Beauty and/or Drop Dead Gorgeous 

It’s a Beautiful Life

Movie Titles I’m Concerned About Liking

Clueless

Mean Girls

Almost Famous

Virgin Suicides