Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme



Things You Could Do Instead Of Be On Your iPhone At The Table

  • Discuss current events that you learned through twitter before you got to the table
  • Make eye contact with the person who is speaking
  • Make fun of the Republican candidates
  • Describe what someone looks like without looking up their Facebook profile picture
  • Try every drink on the table
  • Compliment someone you are with
  • Speak verbally across the table instead of covering your mouth and whispering HeyTell messages to your date(s)
  • Do kegel exercises
  • Think about how you would stalk the cute waiter without technology
  • Talk about/reenact how a person from Medieval times would react to our social habits
  • Knit a sweater for a penguin 
  • Learn a language by talking
  • Asking other patrons if they know the title of a song playing because you can’t use shazam
  • Voice your sexual attraction to a nearby patron or server
  • Looking up bus times with a handy Metro Transit pamphlet
  • Remembering random facts using your brain instead of google
  • Debate which menu items would be best/worst to consume off of your lover/ significant other/ celeb crush