“My under-wire is poking into my armpit.”

“His sole purpose for existence seems to be to scratch the Teflon on my rice cooker.”

“Meeaahhh. The 113 was LATE.”

“Why is the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream $2 more expensive at the SA than Target?”

“Meeeaaah…Folgers? Not the best part of waking up.”

“I am only voting for the candidate who will criminalize the word ‘synergy’.”