I want to dance
As much as we like to #humblebrag about our eclectic taste in music via publishing Spotify or Rdio feeds to your facebook, we all have a soft spot for top 40. Throw on your not-so-secret “guilty pleasure pop tunes” playlist and let’s get this party started. If the lyrics have anything to do with dancing, partying, drinking, fucking, big booties or smokin’ blunts I’m dancing to it. If the lyrics demand that we “jump around” “put our glasses up” or take “champagne showers” you better believe I’m gonna do it. I jump around and shake my butt at people. I’ll grind up on anything that moves. I will bust up that dance floor with the most embarrassing moves and I don’t care who’s watching.

I want to text
I want to know where you are and when you’re gonna get here. I want to secure a booty call, or 12. I want to text my ex boyfriend something super serious but profusely misspelled. I want to tweet about how much fun I’m having. I want to quote everything anyone says ever, because it’s hilarious.  

I want to cuddle
I prommmise I don’t want bump naughties, I just need some fucking human contact ok. Just come home with me and cuddle PLEASE. I have found that its more effective when you ask groups of people, like that one time when I asked 4 men outside of U Otter to come cuddle me and they all said no. Ok, bad example. However, if all of the people that I had asked to come home and cuddle me would have, I am positively sure I’d wake up and be mortified. Cuddling doesn’t require the same standards as sex does. Do you have arms? Yes? Ok you can come home with me.

I run away
I want to walk fast; wander away from my group; explore on my own; be adventurous. I want you to chase me, even if that means into oncoming traffic… oops?

I want to fight
I want to tell you everything that is wrong with you. Often times this is over something so miniscule and stupid that I would never give two shits in sober life. But if I am in fight mode, I will bring up anything I can think of that you did. I will turn it into the biggest deal and make a whole dramatic scene about it.

I want to bite you
My pent up sexual frustration of not having someone to bang on the regular comes out in the form of vampire Allie. I bite you to try and be sexy but end up leaving bruises that will be hard for you to explain.

I want to talk
I want to tell you my life story and discuss my quirky personality traits or analyze my life. Basically I want the entire conversation to revolve around me. Another option may be me asking you a string of odd or silly questions in hopes that you will reveal something personal to me. I really want to connect with you on some deep meaningful level that I’ll never remember in the morning.

Things that I don’t want to do, but may occur as a result of one of the above actions

• I will cry
• I will fall
• I will loose something
• I will have no morals or standards