June 2011
26 posts
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Users Guide to a Crash Diet
If you are of the procrastinating sort, like me, you probably start your “get fit for the summer” diet at the end of June. Silly? No. It’s strategic. In the event that your crash diet takes you along with it, the proverbial yo-yo won’t swing up again until September. By that time, you’ll be long gone and in the throes of cardigan season, basking in flabby-arm-and- muffin-top-covering bliss. Here...
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How To Scare Off Boys (You Don’t Want To Talk To)
You know when you’re out at a bar and your friend starts talking to some guy and you get stuck talking to his inevitably less attractive friend? This is the perfect opportunity to turn an undesirable situation into a fun game (see blog tagline). Disclaimer: The following method is for those who are too nice (read: cowardly) to simply tell someone they aren’t interested.
The thing about having an...
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Life Advice From Someone Probably Too Young To...
1. Do not cut your own bangs. Ever ever ever. Do not get drunk and think it’s a good idea to just “give them a trim”. Do not “even them out” by yourself. Do not let the random hair school attendee living in your college apartment “shape them” for you. Pay the $5 and go in to an actual salon. Better yet, don’t get bangs in the first place. They will...
In case you want to get stalkery (don't worry, we... →
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Things We'd Rather Do Instead Of Our Respective...
Things Alex Would Rather Do Than An Ab Workout:
1. Inhale nail salon fumes.
2. Repair every hole in every article of clothing I own.
3. Attend WE Fest. Wear only a bikini top and Daisy Dukes. Refer to it as “like, the best time of my life” for like, the rest of my life.
4. Tattoo a Persian cat on my lower backside. [Disclaimer: I am allergic to cats, quite needle-phobic and...
kittenchaos asked: Who all writes on this blog? Reveal yourselves!!
robosheep asked: Gotta say, I love this Tumblr, it's like if Sex in the City was about Millennials. Not that I know what any of those words actually mean.
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How-To-Online-Date-And-Not-Get-Kidnapped-Murdered-O...
I’m about to drop a truth bomb on you. I’m a totally competent, witty, and flirtatious young 20-something and I’m on an online dating website. No, I don’t have a hunch back, more than 15 cats, or severe halitosis. Guess what kiddos, we’re Millennials. Which means we want what we want and we want it now, preferably in some form of smart phone app please. ...
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Soundtrack To A Breakup
Don’t get me wrong, as a recently single lady and newbie to the Ladies Who Brunch gang, I am optimistic about the future. But for right now (and probably the next 5 days to 3 months) I just want to get drunk in my undies with a bottle of wine and sing along to some breakup jams. Sue me.
1. White Blank Page – Mumford & Sons
Now, Mumford in general can make we weak at the knees....
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Weird places where I've been hit on: June edition
1. The tampon aisle at Target
I sort of get the strategy—high traffic area for ladies, extremely low traffic area for male competition…but no. Probably not. Let’s get real for a minute, because a lady’s fallopian tubes are likely twisting themselves into suicidal knots of agony as she’s buying feminine products to soak up blood from her shedding uterine lining...
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Things That Are Annoying
WrItiNg LiKe ThIs
Saxophones (sometimes)
Alarm clocks (iPod alarm clocks excluded)
Gary Busey’s teeth
People who relentlessly crack their knuckles in public settings
That obstinate bit of toothpaste that’s always stuck at the end of the tube
Oxy Clean commercials…though I sincerely hope Billy Mays is R.-ing I.P.
Brangelina, Bennifer, etc.
Crazy “religious”...
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How to Deal with your New, Loud Neighbor
Why do the loudest people always listen to the shittiest music? Why can’t I have a neighbor that blasts Best Coast and Minus the Bear during the day, then the best 90s jams on weekend nights? We could bring each other beer and make mix CDs. Instead, I am forced to listen to death metal while cooking dinner and crappy techno that shakes my bed until 3 in the morning. Enough is enough; after...
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My Latest Impulse Purchases and What They Mean for...
As a young American twentysomething, one of my greatest skills is blowing money on things I don’t need in lieu of the essentials (sundresses, books and happy hour),and in the last month I’ve made some of my best impulse buys. Here’s what that means for everyone I know:
1. Fondue Pot
This beauty was hidden in a back room at an estate sale on 50% off day. Of course I had to buy it. It’s orange,...
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A Note to Future Suitors: Things I Will Not...
You guys always go for the quirky, cute girls. What you don’t realize when you come my way is just how many quirks I have. I’ve learned to embrace them - they help define me and make me so irresistible to you. Now it’s up to you to take them or leave them. Here’s a primer on what you’ll be expected to put up with once you’ve garnered my discerning affection.
1....
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Sports I Excel At
You know that girl who always managed to get a ball to the face (minds outta the gutter, people!) no matter the circumstances or gym class unit?
I was that girl.
No matter how much attention was paid, I could always count on the magnetic forces that be to remind me of my other less athletic inclinations…and fortunately my ability to look at the bright side of things. This one goes out to...
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This is what Best Coast meant by "I wish he was my... →
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Things We Considered Calling This Blog
After her strappy wedges failed to cooperate in front of the cute waiter (see: tripping and landing on all fours) Alex’s dominant feeling while ambling back to the table was gratitude. Why? Because with Megan, she knew she could recount this story with more humor than embarrassment and more chutzpah than chagrin. So it was then, while sipping drinks on that sunny patio (como siempre), that...
