December 2011
14 posts
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Resolutions
I’m starting early.
Simplified resolution: Speak my mind more often.
Actual resolution: Speak my mind more often. Don’t dwell/obsess/hermit when the response I get isn’t the elaborate dream I worked out in my head.
If goals prove too lofty, listen to angsty pop-punk music on repeat. (Sorry I’m not sorry.)
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Friday afternoons at work
me: so what kind of cookie are you eating?
tell me slowly
Sent at 4:18 PM on Friday
Heather: c
h
o
c
o
l
a
me: oh yeah
Heather: t
me: keep going
Heather: e
me: ahhh
Heather: cccccccccccccc
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
pppppppppppppp
me: yeah
yea
*lights cig
thanks baby
Sent at 4:20 PM on Friday
Heather: was it good for you?
me: yes. i hope you had fun too.
Sent at...
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Life Lessons: Being Wronged
Every time I hear Lady Gaga’s “they used to throw me in trash cans” story, I get irritated. Woman, ahem, Lady, shouldn’t you be screaming “FUCK HATERS” while you roll around in a pile of money and tear-stained fans willing to sell their grandma for your concert tickets? Then why are you crying on a couch next to Joy Behar?
I judge too quickly. With the help of Sheryl Crow, I remember that the...
“He is very patient and always brings me candy.”
– Sarah has found the ideal boyfriend
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Why I Can Have Another Cookie
There’s another cookie in my desk. I am trying to persuade my “put-that-down-betch-it’s-not-even-11 a.m.!” self to let me at it. I think my reasoning is solid.
1. I had a really nice bus ride. I played a “Z” word on Words with Friends and listened to the new Black Keys album.
2. I wore red wellies with a red skirt and forgot my heels. I endured subsequent office commentary about “Ronald...
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If You Went to High School with Punctuation Marks
This past weekend gave me the luxury of sprawling out on my parents’ couch in suburbia in dog-cuddling, napping, bliss. In addition to this high level of productivity, I was able to finally do some leisure reading. During my print soaked haze, I had a strange dream (cue wavey flash back lines and some 90’s sitcom soundtrack), and though usually I detest people sharing their dreams with...
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“Work isn’t terribly exciting, but my Saturdays are okay.”
– Friend of Brunchers, Andrew LaValle
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Anatomy Of A Commute
Despite aforementioned events, I love taking the bus. However, I don’t always pack or dress appropriately for the commute. I either appear to be running away ala Alex-Alex-10-bags or in today’s case, the early bird version of a lady of the night.
This is how it went:
8:05 a.m. Board bus. Immediately direct attention to nearest open seat. Make a swift once-over to inspect fellow...
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Tales From the Karaoke Trenches
I’ve been on a quest to find the perfect karaoke song for some time now but, despite my repeat performance in NORTH DAKOTA ALL-STATE HONOR CHOIR in middle school (this is the only time I’m going to be able to brag about that, ever), I’m not quite ready for a soulful, solo performance at the mic.
I haven’t found the perfect 2 a.m. bar ballad yet, but I have found a few...
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Words for Optimists
If you watch Godzilla backwards its about a dinosaur who passionately pieces a city back together before moon-walking into the sea. This is the Godzilla I choose to believe in…
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An-analogy-I'll-probably-regret-later-in-life-and/o...
You know how they say people resemble their pets? Well, perhaps this is somewhat of a departure from that, but a couple of hot toddies and Lady Weisenberger reassured me that the men in our lives are, in fact, as diverse as our handbag collections. Allow me to elaborate.
Trendy ‘Fling’ Purse. You know he won’t be around your entire life so you don’t invest much, but at the...
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